That "A-HA!" Moment

Everyone has them, and most people have them more than once in a lifetime. That moment when you realize something that should have been obvious all along, referred to as the "A-HA! Moment". Sometimes, it's that day that you realize the job you have been doing since college to pay off your student loan really IS the career you were hoping to find. Sometimes, it's after years doing something you trained a lifetime for, suddenly realizing you really don't love it at all. Maybe it was the time you looked at your best friend and realized "Hey - I kinda love this guy!" and found your soul mate in the person who had been there all along.

I have pretty much had all of those particular "A-HA! Moments" ... and a few more. My most recent, of course, involved fitness. There were a few events which all accumulated into one ultra clear vision.

Sometime early this year, my friend was showing competition pictures of her sister. Everyone was awestruck by the fabulous muscles and impressed/intimidated by her incredible physique. I remember my mouth going dry and thinking "THAT is what I want to be!" (A-HA!) I made some comment that I wished she lived nearer so I could just sit at her feet and learn. Then I went home and saw reflected in the mirror the dumpy, soft person I had become. I decided I would never be able to achieve that kind of fitness, and pushed it to the back of my consciousness.

This summer, I was invited to sing in a benefit concert. Broadway, show tune type stuff that I used to be very good at, when I was younger and lived and breathed theatre. The concert was on a Monday, for which I had to get all dressed up and sing my heart out. I was a nervous wreck, thrilled when it was over, and all in all, really found it was no longer my cup of tea. The very next day I had a softball game. I was dirty, alive, excited ... happy from beginning to end and I realized ... I LOVE being active! Sure I miss performing now and then, but I can not breathe without THIS! (A-HA!)

During the summer I realized that I no longer wanted to be the heavy, unfit person I had become. I threw around some ideas in my head: Weight Watchers again? Jenny Craig? Nutri-system? None of them felt right, and I sunk just a little lower into the realization that I might be stuck in this cocoon for life. Then my friend (sister of the fitness competitor) mentioned that said sister, Maureen, was training a woman who weighed around 240 lbs. She mentioned that she had always envisioned her sister only training "thin" people. "A-HA!" Light bulbs go off. We have flashing, Vegas-style strobes happening here. What if ... What IF I contacted Maureen to see if she might train me from afar? What if I had a woman who actually lives the life, embraces the lifestyle that I crave, be the person that I report to? I inhale "M&F Hers" and "Oxygen" magazines. I see those women and wish that I could look like them. The models on the front of Shape, Self, Fitness? They do nothing for me ... they are just skinny people. I want my outside to reflect who I am inside ... an ATHLETE. What if I was trained by someone who was one of those women I so admire, who competes at that level? What if .........

And that is the story of the "A-HA! Moment" that led me to contacting Maureen. Now that I am doing it (and yes, I still have a long ways to go), I wonder what on earth took me so long to make this decision. I am happier, I am less stressed, far less depressed. I feel like I am living in my sweet spot. As if I am doing exactly what I was created to do. Do I still enjoy crafts, music, theatre? Of course! But they are extra things ... my purpose is THIS. A-HA!

(Oh ... and just for the record, my weigh in yesterday was 203.8, which means that I lost 7.1 lbs in ONE WEEK! Do a little happy dance with me??)

SUNDAY FOOD DIARY
Breakfast
* Blue Agave, Organic (Wholesome Sweeteners brand), 0.5 tbsp
* Organic Valley Organic Egg Whites, 4 serving
* Ezekiel 4:9 Sprouted 100% Whole Grain Bread, 2 serving
* Olivio, Olivio Buttery Spread, 5 sprays, 1 serving
* Blueberries, fresh, 0.5 cup
* Regular Coffee, 3 cup (8 fl oz)

Lunch
* Jennie O Savory Seasoned Turkey Burgers, 1 serving
* Del Monte Cut Green Beans, 0.75 cup

Dinner
* Chicken Breast, no skin, 3 ounces
* Del Monte Cut Green Beans, 1 cup

Snack
* Kikkoman Lite Soy Sauce, 2 tbsp
* Avocados, California (Haas), 0.5 fruit without skin and seeds
* Cottage Cheese, 1% Milkfat, 0.75 cup (not packed)
* Red Ripe Tomatoes, 0.5 cup, chopped or sliced

MONDAY FOOD DIARY
Breakfast
* Whey to Go Whey Protein Powder, chocolate flavor, 28 gram(s)
* Milk, nonfat, 1 cup
* Raspberries, 0.5 cup
* Ezekiel 4:9 Sprouted 100% Whole Grain Bread, 1 serving
* Olivio, Olivio Buttery Spread, 5 sprays, 1 serving

Lunch
* Gorton's Grilled Salmon, 1 serving
* Cauliflower, frozen, cooked, 1 cup (1" pieces)

Dinner
* Chicken Breast, no skin, 3 ounces
* Cucumber (with peel), 1 cup slices

Snack
* Del Monte Lite Diced Peaches, 4 oz
* Cottage Cheese, 1% Milkfat, 0.75 cup (not packed)
* Starkist Tuna Creations Hickory Smoked Tuna, 1 serving
* Dare Grains First Whole Grain Crackers, 2 serving