Individual

There is a current marketing spot, I believe for Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig, which is making its rounds on the commercial circuit. While images of 2 girls flash through various stages of life, the voice-over discusses how even though they may grow up in identical circumstance, walk very similar paths in life, no two person's bodies are the same. No two people share the same metabolism ... insinuating that no 2 people will respond identically to a weight loss program and therefore it needs to be tailored to each individual.

This marketing campaign fulfilled at least one if its goals ... it got me thinking. Not about Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig or whatever other weight loss program it might have been touting. It got me thinking about individuality in relation to fitness and weight loss. Cookie cutter programs simply are not going to work long term, no matter how much this multi-million dollar industry wants you to believe so.

However, this concept doesn't apply only to "commercial" programs, such as WW or JC. It applies to the silly diet's, such as those involving cabbage soup, grapefruit, detox teas or whatever. It also applies to the serious programs, those based upon really solid nutritional advice. Those programs like The Eat Clean Diet (which I am a huge fan of), the Paleo Plan, The Mediterranean Diet, South Beach, Atkins (which I am NOT a huge fan of), etc. and so forth. They all work for a while, and most likely they will all work for everybody ... for a while.

At some point, the metabolism switches, the resolve and willpower diminishes, the body and mind stop responding. And that's when each individual person must dig deeper and find that something extra inside, that thing that reignites his metabolism, that reinvigorates her willpower. That is when the individual has to come back into play and figure out what works for him or her.

Here's what I know about me:

1. I get really bored eating the same things all the time and I will either a) quit eating or I will b) cheat.

2. I can't go "carb free". It makes my brain fuzzy, it makes me a stark, raving, bitch. (Sorry for the bad language, but it's the truth.)

3. My body doesn't respond to monotony in caloric intake. Meaning, I need to change it up every couple of days to keep the metabolism firing on all cylinders. If I eat exactly 1300 calories every day for weeks on end, my body will adjust and maintain. If I eat 900 calories every day, my body will adjust and maintain. If I eat more, say 1500 calories, my body will adjust and ... gain. Sad, huh?

4. The type and quality of calories matter a lot. 100 calories of apple will be used wisely by this little machine I call my body. 100 calorie snack pack of chocolate covered pretzels will not be used wisely, or used at all, and will be stored as fat. I am assuming until my body can figure out what to do with it. Nutrient rich food contains *data* this machine is familiar with and knows how to use. Nutrient deficient junky snack foods it treats like SPAM and throws into a "fat file" to be perused later, when I am trying to figure out why my computer (body) is running so slowly.

5. I need to allow myself the opportunity to cheat (treat myself) once in a while. I take it very personally that I am not "allowed" to have a glass or 2 of red wine with my husband once a week. It makes me feel deprived, but even more than that, it makes me feel ... juvenile. Like Mommy & Daddy are telling me I can't do something I already earned the right to do. And that makes me rebellious. Kinda like, well, if I am gonna get in trouble, I might as well do it really well. EARN my punishment. So if I am "dying" for that glass of wine, piece of cheese, slice of cake, I should allow myself a small glass, a bite, a taste ... rather than depriving and then going back later to binge in rebellion.

There's a lot more I am sure that I will learn about myself. But most importantly, it s that I am me, not Monica Brant, not Maureen, not Coach Dom ... ME. I can't expect my body to respond like anyone else's, and I need to be the biggest expert on "me" that there is.

“Every person is the creation of himself, the image of his own thinking and believing. As individuals think and believe, so they are.” ~Claude M. Bristol~

Push

I don't wanna. I wanna sleep. I wanna eat what I wanna eat. I wanna shop. I wanna relax, watch a show, catch a snooze, eat a bon bon. I wanna ...

But I can't.

I have to push. I have to push through this haze of indifference. This fog of frustration. Push past the limitations created within me, into the place where there are no limitations at all.

I was not created to be weak. I was, however, created with limitations. Did God put them there to build my character? Did He want me to learn humility? Did He want me to learn how to go farther than I,or anyone else, ever thought I could?

Push through the impossible, into the unimaginable. Catch a glimpse of that place that seems so far away. Become inspired by the vision of what the future can hold ... if I can only get past the gate of today.

The gate is locked, but by sheer strength of determination and perseverance I will bust it open. I will keep pushing against it, with all of my force, all of my will, all of ME, until the lock has no choice but to give. No choice but to break wide open and grant me access to that which one shove before was unattainable.

I can get past this. I can push past anything that gets in between me and my dreams. There is no obstacle I can not overcome. No wall I can not breach. I AM perseverance and I will not be deterred. I am the steady flow of the river that carved greatness through a mountain impasse. Nothing can stand in my way, as long as I push through with perseverance. And patience.

“People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to.” ~George Allen~

"The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win." ~Roger Bannister~

"Follow your dream...take one step at a time and don't settle for less, just continue to climb. Follow your dream...if you stumble, don't stop and lose sight of your goal, press on to the top...For only on top can we see the whole view, can we see what we've done and what we can do, can we then have the vision to seek something new...Press on, and follow your dream." ~Amanda Bradley~

"Studies indicate that the one quality all successful people have is persistence." ~Joyce Brothers~

"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." ~Confucius~

Me

I was feeling a bit sorry for myself yesterday. Driving home from kettlebell competition class, I was thinking about my "friendless" state. Actually, I guess that is quite literal ... I really don't have very many friends ... in THIS state. New York. What set it off was the distinct impression I have that one of the other members of the KB group doesn't like me. Sadly, of all the people, she's the one I want to like me the most.

Rather like a little puppy, I am. Playing around at your feet, biting at your toes, barking for your attention. Then when you tire of me, and kick me away, I can't understand what I did wrong. Imagine me today, sitting, head tilted to one side with a wounded look on my little face. So ugly its cute ... a face only a mother could love ... yeah, you get my drift. Feeling VERY sorry for myself.

I'm not easy to love. I think I come to this conclusion every couple of years, around this time. Then I initiate a huge renovation project on myself, to become just the exact sort of person you, he, they, anyone ... might long to have as a friend. Trouble is, it can't last for too long because its not ... me. This year, maybe its age, I am simply disinclined to try and be something else for everybody else. I'm too old. I just want to be me.

I have some good qualities, which become evident once you do take upon yourself the challenge of being my friend. I am loyal to a fault. I am quite fair minded, more than willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. There is, after all, at least 2 sides to every story. I can be fun. I have an interesting mind, creative at times, intense at others, but full of compelling thoughts and stories. Did I say I'm loyal? I've got your back and you want me on your side in a fight.

But the bad, the part that puts people off, I think, too often overshadows the good. I am outspoken and extremely opinionated. I am a know-it-all. I do know quite a bit, I read incessantly and research most everything I am interested in so that I can carry on intelligent conversation. Unfortunately, this underscores the "know-it-all". I have a quick temper, but have learned to control it most of the time. Still, the tightening of the eyes and mouth are a dead give-away. Kind of like watching the life get choked out of someone, I expect. I am an introvert. Surprised? That's because I have spent so much time trying to chameleon myself to the people around me. I am horrible at small talk, and when I attempt, I usually end up making an ass of myself. I am completely un-PC. I don't mean to be offensive ... I just don't think before I speak. I would never intentionally hurt someones feelings, which is why I lie awake kicking myself many nights as I remember conversational missteps. I am not prejudiced at ALL, which is probably why I make so many non-politically correct statements. It simply doesn't even occur to me. Until its too late.

So for all those reasons above, I am truly sorry to every person I ever meet. If you can get past all that, then hopefully you will see that my heart is good and I am not nearly as uncool as I appear. Not nearly as awkward once you get to know me.

I am still in a renovation project, only this year its not about the inside of me, so much as the outside. And its not at all about making myself into someone that you might like, but rather about fulfilling the potential inside of me to become someone that I am proud of. Someone that I like. I do "like" myself most of the time ... but I am not always proud of myself, or of the choices I have made. I am trying to fix that. In the meantime, I am probably still gonna be a dork and say the wrong things at the wrong times.

I hope the girl in the KB group (she's an instructor, by the way) will be able to see past the outward, awkward, bumbling little puppy that is me and come to respect the humble, dorky, strong, hard-working she-dog (just can't bring myself to type another bad word, but you can insert another name for she-dog here) that I am.

"It is a truism to say that the dog is largely what his master makes of him: he can be savage and dangerous, untrustworthy, cringing and fearful; or he can be faithful and loyal, courageous and the best of companions and allies." ~Sir Ranulph Fiennes~

Act Like a Duck

I am a fan of Grey's Anatomy. I know, I know .. it's kind of melodramatic fluff ... but snappy dialogue, real-life medical issues and fun characters have kept me glued the screen ever since the big bomb-scare episode that ran directly after Super Bowl a few years back. Recently, I saw a rerun of an episode in which Alex claims he is "acting like a duck". In a nutshell, he's not known for being a great, mature, monogamous guy in relationships, but he figured if he started acting like one, after enough time he might actually become one. In other words, if he acted like a duck long enough, he might start quacking. Of course, those words have resonated with me over the past week.

Act like a duck.

I am not a body builder. I am not a perfect specimen of fitness. I don't even look all that much like an avid exerciser. But if I act like one long enough, maybe I will start to quack. I want to be all of these things. I long for the physique, the stamina of a professional athlete. I know that I will probably not ever be one. However, if I start acting like one, start eating like one, maybe I will truly to start to look like one.

Yesterday, I rushed home after church to change into workout clothes, threw some chopped up chicken breast and green beans in a bowl and dashed out the door for the kettlebell class. On the way, I balanced the bowl on my lap, eating as I drove, listening to Eminem blasting through my speakers. The thought came from no where "Yep, I'm THAT girl. I AM the girl that eats crappy food just because it is nutrient rich fuel and will get me the physique I want. I AM the girl who makes her family switch up its routine just so she can make a specific class. I AM that crazy chick."

Of course, I'm not always that chick. Sometimes I am the girl who whines because she wants to have cake, too. Who complains that it's not fair she doesn't get to enjoy eating anymore. Often, I am the girl who can be heard retching pathetically when Maureen starts talking about eating tuna more often. But if I want to look like those people whose physique I admire, I need to eat like them, too. No amount of exercise can make up for it. A great body is built in the kitchen. It gets tuned up at the gym.

That's not to say that I am going to constantly eat things that disgust me. I actually love chicken breast and green beans. Just not at 10:00am, lukewarm from a bowl on my lap as I drive. I don't like tuna, but I think I can handle it a few times a week. It IS just fuel. I learned yesterday that if I just bake a sweet potato and use a little butter spray and sea salt, I can stomach those as well. Tosca's eating plan has me eating one every single day, but I think I can substitute beets or rutabaga in occasionally, instead. I have also learned that oatmeal, farina & millet can all be eaten plain, without sweeteners or fruit and be quite tasty.

I can't have my cake and eat it, too. If I want to have a great physique, I simply must fuel my body with foods that are clean and nutrient rich. If I want to eat cake, I have to forgo my desire to have that great physique. Yes, for those who are panicking WITH me right now, there will be cheats eventually, down the road. Rewards for making certain goals. Carrots hanging past certain obstacles to make me hurdle them faster and with less complaint. But ultimately it is a choice. Do I want to have that great body? Or do I want to eat the cake?

QUACK!

"Tell me what you eat, I'll tell you who you are." ~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin~

Kettle-what?

Today was the first day of my "Competition Kettlebell Training" class. It was a fantastic workout, but luckily, this week anyway, no more difficult than my regular hour long class on Mondays, nor my private training session on Thursdays. I expect that will change, as there was a lot of info to get out today.

I've had a few people ask me what the heck kettlebell training is. I've directed them to the ROC Boxing website, as well as encouraged a hefty google search. In fact, one really good basic article can be found at:

http://www.kettlebell.net/articles/what-is-a-kettlebell .

I thought that I might share what Kettlebell is for ME today, as that definition is considerably different. I mean, I work out in the weight room regularly ... why is this much of a change? Why do I need to add yet another *thing* to my crazy fitness agenda? I guess if I need to sum it up in one word, it would be:

COMPETITION.

Let's face it, I am not a spring chicken any more. If I had been a more diligent runner or biker in my younger years, I might be a more competitive racer today. Maybe, if I had started boxing while in my twenties, I might be able to hold my own effectively in a ring. However, starting in my mid-life (How the heck did I get here, already?!) renders me fairly ineffective, competitively, in most sports.

And I need to compete.

Kettlebell offers me a way to compete, with a chance at actually being competitive, even though am starting late. It's tailor made for my muscular structure. It's also a pretty good fit for my ability to zone out and just keep going until the body stops working. Top that off with the cherry I call "Fun Factor" and you have a pretty perfect little workout plan.

As I mentioned New Year's Eve, they have kettlebell competitions at the Arnold. Give me a year, and I might actually be able to attend as a competitor, rather than an awe-struck fan. Certainly won't find me entering any power-lifting or bikini-fitness competitions, but with kettlebell I stand a ghost of a chance.

Part of the competition class is entering at a certain weight, which means setting a goal weight and hitting it within 12 weeks, when we actually compete. This means no more latte's, or a dip with a chip on Super Bowl Sunday. I have decided to give Tosca Reno's Clean Eating program a try. I have followed my own (or rather Maureen's, then a combination of both of ours) clean eating regimen for over a year. Following Tosca's plan simply takes the guesswork out of the equation for me. Less work, less thinking. Just eat what she says. For those of you familiar with the plan, I am following the Cooler 1 plan, at least for the 1st month (It is recommended that you only follow this plan for 1-2 weeks. However, as it is very close to the eating plan I have already been following, I feel it's OK to extend it a bit.)

Summing it up, Kettlebell offers me a chance to train for a competition, actually be competitive and gives me a goal with a finish line, forcing me to be consistent and diligent.

“A competitive world offers two possibilities. You can lose. Or, if you want to win, you can change.”