de·ter·mi·na·tion: [dih-tur-muh-ney-shuhn]
–noun
1. the act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose.
2. ascertainment, as after observation or investigation.
3. the information ascertained; solution.
4. the settlement of a dispute, question, etc.
5. the decision or settlement arrived at or pronounced.
6. the quality of being resolute; firmness of purpose.
7. a fixed purpose or intention.
8. the fixing or settling of amount, limit, character, etc.
9. fixed direction or tendency toward some object or end.
10. Chiefly Law . conclusion or termination.
Have you ever sat and stared at a word long enough that you no longer understand what it means? Can no longer comprehend what its purpose for being in the human language is? Or maybe you have used a particular word or phrase ad nauseum, to the point where people attribute it to you, where your face flashes before their eyes every time they hear the word. I think for me that word is determination. Not necessarily that my face resides next to it in the dictionary ... but rather that I overuse it and completely abuse it. I also undermine it and reduce its power and influence.
I wake each morning filled with determination, absolutely determined that this day will transpire as I wish. Then as the day moves forward, that determination slips away like sand through the fingers. At night, as I lie in bed regurgitating the events of the day, I wonder why it was so easy for me to lose my determination, so easy for me to slip back into bad habits, or allow lesser choices to be made. I wonder why my determination has failed me. As if the word itself is the reason for my failure.
This morning, in the face of the letter "D", I decided to look up that word and see how the experts define it. After all, the more I thought about the word, the more I used it, the less meaning it had for me. Reviewing the actual definition helped me to remember that being determined is being decisive. It is making a decision, over and over again, that I will stick to a plan, no matter what road blocks get thrown in my path.
Determined people aren't blessed with a superhuman over-abundance of self-control. They have just made a decision and stuck to it, no matter what. Scientists are determined to prove their theories and try repeatedly, from different angles, until they reach their desired outcome. Successful sales people find creative ways to turn a no into a happy yes. Star athletes challenge themselves every day to go beyond the physical limitations of the day before. They all decide what they want the outcome to be and work relentlessly until they reach that goal, even if it means changing direction on the path a few times to get there.
I need to make a decision, stick with it, and reach my goals. I need to make that decision every single day, over and over each moment to ensure success. Remembering this when things get rocky (or when someone waves a warm brownie under my nose, or some new body part starts to ache, etc.) is the hard part. My "fixed purpose of intention" is to walk the very narrow path each and every day and live a determined life, decisively focused on my goal.
I am determined.
