Setting an Example

We just spent a couple of days at the Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls, Canada. Let me first just say, what a place! Truly, if you have children, a franchise location somewhere near you and the time and means to do so, plan a visit. We had a wonderful time and I am pretty sure my son would live there forever, given the opportunity.

Of course, being a water park, we spent most of our time in swimsuits. I'm not entirely comfortable walking around for all the world to see my dimpled backside, but I was grateful that I was 40 lbs. farther along the weight loss path. It was also very helpful to note that everyone seemed to be, pretty much, in the same boat I was.

Which of course got me to thinking ... why exactly is it that parents (specifically) stop taking care of themselves when they start taking care of children? You see, what I noticed primarily was not that people were overweight ... many of them were not ... but that everyone seemed to be out of shape. Some were skinny fat, some were heavy fat .. and some were like me ... in the middle. But it applied to both men and women, older parents and younger parents. At what point in parenthood do we start to think that it is OK to let ourselves go in favor of giving 100% of our time and devotion to our children ... and is it wise to do so?

North America has an epidemic of obesity and it has spread to our children. Wouldn't it make sense to work even harder on being in the best shape we can so that we can be an example to our children? I remember my OBGYN somewhat lecturing me during my pregnancy that overweight mothers have overweight children ... and I was horrified. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. The last thing I wanted to do to my unborn child was burden him with this same struggle for the entirety of his life. Soon after he was born I started on my first path to getting back in shape.

(It didn't stick, the path was not the right one. I lost a lot of weight, but there were habits that simply did not change, a lifestyle that still hid in the wings just waiting for me to *arrive* so it could pop out and upstage me again. This time the path is different ... and it IS the right one.)

In addition, not only do I want to be a healthy example to my child, but I also want to be able to play with him, ride on the water slides with him, run and actually keep up with him. When I am out of shape, I can not do those things.

As I hear politicians (and their wives) repeatedly taking up the cause for getting our kids healthy, I wonder when parents will start to realize that the only way change can be made in our children's health is when we make lasting changes in our own. Stop going through the drive-thru. Shop at the farmer's markets for fresh, healthy fruits and veggies. Cook quality meals, using real food that doesn't come from a box. Sit down together and eat slowly, with the TV turned off. Go outside and play together. Go to the park, throw a Frisbee, ride bikes. In the winter, go sledding and skiing or build a snowman. Only by becoming active as a family can we effect change in this epidemic.

Trust me, I am talking to myself in this as well. On the days when my motivation is low ... I am going to remind myself that the best way I can help my son to a healthy lifestyle is to set a healthy example. And the next time we head to the Great Wolf Lodge, I want to be that super-fit mom that inspires another mom to get healthy.

That would be supremely cool.

Eliminating a Writing Excuse

For the first time in my life, I have the ability to type while I am somewhere besides behind my home computer. I can officially go to Starbucks, or Ian’s karate class, the library … pretty much anywhere I want … and put my thoughts to *paper*.

Yep, I got myself a laptop. Originally the thought was a netbook, but when I went in and tried to play around on those things … my fingers were far too cramped. I simply would not have been able to perform the main function I was purchasing it for comfortably … writing. I ended up getting a very nice, light, high speed laptop with a decent keyboard I am already fairly comfortable using. Now I will no longer be able to say “I haven’t been able to get behind a computer long enough to write”. This also means … I am officially out of excuses for finishing that book.

I hope that this will mean more frequent accounts of my fitness progress. I hope that this will mean I will have more time to work on creating, instead of working on playing games on my iPhone as I sit and wait for my son. I have grand visions for this laptop and the changes it will make in my life.But for now, I need to pack it up and get ready to take cake to my son’s class.

Did I mention? My little boy turned 8 years old today. How in the world did that happen? I miss the baby that he was, and as much as I sometimes get frustrated by the mischief maker he can be, I am always amazed by the little man he is becoming. I love his heart, his compassion, his tenderness, his creativity and intelligence. I know that his independence and stubbornness are a part of his spirit that he will learn to control and use these wisely as he gets older. I pray for patience as he learns to control it!

8 years … how did it go by so fast? I love you, little man. You are my reason for being. Thank you for choosing me to be your Mama.

It felt good to win.

I accomplished a goal today. I didn't wake up thinking anything special was going to happen. In fact, I woke up feeling a bit ill. I tooled around the house, coming up with all these reasons NOT to go to the gym today. Sick stomach, messy house, errands to run ... I had a whole stash of excuses just waiting to be used.

I know, I know ... I am always coming down on excuse makers. But, that's because I am all too familiar with that shaky ground. I am an excellent excuse maker. Probably one of the best in the nation, if not world. So I know them when I hear them ... even when they are being made by me.

By 11am, my stomach seemed to have settled and I decided that I would go get my run out of the way while my legs were fresh. Saturday morning's are the freshest my legs can ever be as Friday is my workout day off. Of course, being later than my normal arrival time, all of the backroom treads were already in use. So into the broad daylight of the front area I headed. Whatever ... I mean, I'll be dying by the time I get done, but by now these people have seen my in a pool of exhaustion next to cardio machines often enough to just pour a little water on me and let me be.

So as I started the run, I decided that I would do the 5k loop. Figured I would run my usual 2 miles, then walk the rest. I warmed up for 5 minutes before starting the loop this time so I could see exactly how far I could go.

I was tired as always from mile 1 on. But I don't have permission to stop before 2 miles. (Permission from myself, that is.) At 2 miles I was exhausted, but decided I would try for a full 30 minute run, which was only like 6 more minutes. Then I hit the 30 minute mark and thought, "Just one more song ... just make it through one more song ..." I repeated that mantra over and over to myself, eyes focused over the shoulder of the guy running on the treadmill in front of me, staring at the little sign that reads "Fox News". I can't really watch the TVs ... I feel obligated to read and the bobbing up and down makes me nauseous. So I stared at those 2 words. Fox. News. And kept running. When I got to the point where I was absolutely sure that I could not run one more step, I looked down at the monitor on the treadmill to discover that I had .48 left to go. LESS THAN HALF A MILE! Holy Cats! Well, stink! I can't quit now! I pulled myself up, stared at the wall. Fox. News. And willed myself to breathe steady, listen to the words of the song. Breathe steady. Fox. News. Breathe Steady. Fox. News.

Until the machine beeped and the treadmill slowed and I did it. I ran the entire 5k loop. Yes, it was slow. But I did it. I ran(jogged) every single step. I wanted to yell. Do a happy dance. Grin broadly from ear to ear. But I smiled quietly to myself, wiped down my machine and went to look for someone to share it with.

Kyle was first as he works at the Y ... and he plays softball with me. Which means he has witnessed for 2 years my exhausted panting any time I was required to run more than one base at a time. Kyle is also a 1st class runner ... very speedy guy. So although I am not in his league, he was still happy for me and knew what an accomplishment it was. Then I called Maureen because on a need to know basis, she DEFINITELY needed to know. Followed by a call to Toni, who is running this 5k with me in April. My own little phone parties.

See, on Thursday, I had lamented to Maureen that I was worried I would never be able to finish the entire 3.1 miles in this race. I was so exhausted after 2 miles that I was having a really hard time envisioning getting beyond it. I'm not talking about my cardio ability, although, yes that is hard. It has been my legs. I do A LOT of leg work, which Maureen pointed out to me and makes my leg fatigue legit. She said that the closer we get to the race, the less the other stuff will play in, and the more we will run. But the other stuff is making me stronger so that when we get to that point, running a 5k is gonna be cake for the legs.

After we talked Thursday, I felt a little better. I DO work my legs a lot. I am allowed to be tired.

This morning ... somehow ... I managed to achieve this little goal of running the entire 5k. There was no finish line, no crowds cheering, nobody waiting to pat me on the back. It was quiet and the only person I was competing with was me.

And I beat my sorry, excuse-laden butt to the back of the bus without even intending to do so.

It felt good to win.

Are You Watching the Olympics?

I just got off the phone with my trainer and I am juggling some mixed feelings. Generally, my feelings on things are mixed. Being all kinds of upside down can put a serious damper on creative fires.

That's an "aside", by the way.

What I am trying to say is, I have some mixed feelings about a couple of things and I am going to attempt to lay them before you in plain English. Unfortunate, though that may be for all of my other-language speaking friends. Might actually read better in Japanese.

Again, I digress.

My new leg workout is the first to be unwound. I can't remember if I wrote previously about the "2- legs on the ground at the same time" thing. I was belly-aching to Maureen about the difficulty of some workout or another and she told me that "Anytime you can keep at least one foot on the ground, its a good day" ... or something to that affect. Apparently, my good days are ending and I am ... advancing? ... into the stages where feet must leave the ground. Leaps, little jumps, split-squats (I call them lunges), pop squats ... anything called "pop" sounds painful. I get to play around with these this week before we bring them on full force next week. I am a little mixed about that. I'll do it, because it's like a dare. If you lay it out there, I gotta try it. Luckily for me, up to this time, no one has dared me to do something like jump off a 12-story building. So anything she lays before me, I will do. Probably lacking in grace and downright ugly at the finish, but I will do it. I'm not sure I should call it "playing" ... and I am quite sure I should not "play" in public. (I do have some pride, after all!) So ... apprehensive is the word I would use for my attitude towards the new leg workout.

Next, Maureen is really playing on my competitive urges and seeking out all sorts of races for me to consider. Frankly, me and my sore old body are just hoping to make it past the finish line of this little one coming up in April. Yes, the Mud Runs, and Muddy Buddy races, the sprint length tri-s and the average length duathalons are very ... enticing ... to me. But I have felt so let down by my body since I started running again that I feel nervous about venturing beyond the flat-land 5k. I wish the knee was a little less determined to hurt and the legs a little less exhausted every day so that I could dash off like a gazelle in happy pursuit of all things running.

But my original thought, when I placed my fingers on the keyboard was about the women's 10k cross-country skiing event at the Olympics that I just watched. At the end of their race, these women cross the finish line and absolutely crumble. Whether they were timing in the top or the bottom, every last ounce of ability they had in their bodies was wrung out and left at that finish line. My son asked me why they were collapsing. I told him it is because they gave it everything they had and that's what we should all do for a race. If at the end of a race, you still have the energy to do more, then you did NOT give it everything you had.

I want to be like those skiers, these athletes one and all competing for the coveted Olympic Gold. I want to train smart, train hard, then run (or bike, or swim) the race of my life and leave it all at the finish line, collapsing because I have nothing left to give. I don't want to be thinking about my poor little knee, or my aching bumm, my throbbing shoulder or my burning lungs. I really want this to be the motto for my life, in every area. I want to be someone who gives it all.

I'm not there yet. I still feel the knee, the pain. I still have the doubts in my ability to finish the race, let alone actually compete in it. But I want to be there, and that is what I am going to start training my mind for, alongside my body.

But, boy do I wish I would have started a little earlier than 40 years of age!

Dear Mr. GNC Guy ...

Hi. Remember me? I'm the Mom-ish looking lady that came into your store today to buy some more protein powder. The one who chooses fruit flavored ones because she doesn't like the taste of chocolate or vanilla unless they are mixed with milk?

Oh yeah! I see you DO remember me. Do you remember the hard time you gave me for not drinking milk? I wanted to have a little talk with you about your lecture today. See, when I answer your question of "Why would you not want to drink milk when it is a good, healthy fat, filled with all kinds of things that are good and necessary for your body ..." with "because at this time my trainer prefers that I drink my protein shakes made with water instead" what I am saying is "back off, Jack, I might look like Mom, but I am for real." It is NOT an invitation to give me a 10 minute lecture on the wonderful qualities of milk.

In fact, the moment I put my headphones back on should have been a clue that I was done listening to you. But you did not take the hint, and I, being a fairly polite mom, gave you a chance to "educate" me on the benefits of milk. Maybe it was because I did allow you the time to give me your sales spiel on a new version of your house protein powder, did indeed take your advice and decide to give it a try, that you thought you had before you a know-nothing in need of your "expertise".

Or maybe you were just bored and I was the only person who came into your store.

I don't know. But the 2nd clue that you were traveling down a path best left alone was in my reply to your comment that you have been drinking your protein shakes made with milk your whole life. My answer was "Yes ... but YOU are a BOY." (Picture eye brow lifted.)

You see, you have no clue about what I am doing, what my eating plan is, what my struggles are. Maureen, my TRAINER, she does. She knows what I am doing, what I am trying to accomplish, what my stumbling blocks have been. So, at the mention of a trainer, you should have backed down and realized that I was getting the real assistance that I needed and your 1-minute armchair analysis of my situation would not come close to the in-depth help I was getting from someone walking the whole journey with me. I honestly don't care that you have been a personal trainer for 2 years or how many qualifications you have behind your name. You are not MY trainer. You are the boy working behind the counter at my local GNC, who is supposed to sell me stuff and take my money when you accomplish that task.

After I left your store, I started getting a little perturbed at our conversation. I'm sorry ... at the LECTURE I received about milk. I nearly turned back around to tell you all these things I just wrote down for you. Lucky for you, though, there was a turkey burger on whole wheat pita waiting for me at home and lunch time trumped my need to educate you on proper sales etiquette.

There's always next time ...

On 2nd Thought ...

When I went back and re-read yesterdays blog, one thing jumped out at me: Who died and made me a preacher?!?!

With that thought in mind, I want to revisit the blog a bit.

Yes, there were a couple of very specific people in mind when I was typing. Just people who have recently asked me ... and immediately offered up some excuses as to why it was impossible. Pretty much, I was saying "out loud" the words that ran through my head as the excuses were listed, albeit several days later.

But most importantly, I wanted to drive the point home that I am a recovering Queen of Excuses. I have lapses all the time. I have to be constantly diligent to ensure that I don't fall into my own traps. If I wasn't slipping up occasionally, my weight loss would probably be at least 10 lbs more than it is now.

During the holiday season, I struggled with the "woe is me" of the rotator cuff surgery and my inability to get to the gym. Then I allowed myself the excuse of not being able to workout on a regular schedule to justify my "treats" during Christmas. Then I excused my lack of weight loss on the fact that I could not workout and/or that I was on my period. I didn't really discuss the ways in which I had fallen short of excellence in my eating plan. Frankly, it is only by the grace of God and some supreme Irish luck that I didn't gain more during that period.

So, when I answer "working out 6 days a week, hard and eating clean 24/7" what I am saying is ... the weight loss you see now is a result of the weeks in which I have done that. The potential for so much more would have been realized had I actually adhered to my plan 100% and never allowed any justification for lower standards.

Here's the thing ... we are all human. Getting healthy is about living a full life, a long and happy one, in the best health possible. For me, it is simply unthinkable that I will go the rest of my life without an occasional slice of cake, or a glass of wine ... or that there will not be times when I can not workout as often or as intensely as I should. Life happens. The trick is not to "excuse" it. (Definition 1: to regard or judge with forgiveness or indulgence; pardon or forgive; overlook (a fault, error, etc.): Excuse his bad manners.) Make it a choice, then you have ownership of it and it's not something that is out of your control.

That's one of the things I like about having a scheduled cheat meal. I know that it is coming ... I don't feel threatened by crazy cravings. MOST of the time, I can just tell myself ... "Hmmm ... that might be something to have on that cheat meal!" By the time the cheat meal arrives, I might decide upon something completely different ... but it was within my control. It was my choice.

Rounding on back to my original point, I am far from excuse-free. Every single day I have to talk myself down from some cliff, away from some candy bar, into some overwhelming feat of physical fitness. But what we all need to do is stop justifying the things that make us less than we can be ... in fitness, in health, at work, at home, in life.

Because, after all, we really do only have one life. Why the heck do we want to throw it away on lower standards?

EXCUSE the EXCUSES!

"ex-cuse"  /v. ɪkˈskyuz; n. ɪkˈskyus/ Show Spelled
Pronunciation [v. ik-skyooz; n. ik-skyoos] Show IPA verb, -cused, -cus-ing, noun
–verb (used with object) 1. to regard or judge with forgiveness or
indulgence; pardon or forgive; overlook (a fault, error, etc.): Excuse his bad
manners.
2. to offer an apology for; seek to remove the blame of: He excused
his absence by saying that he was ill.
3. to serve as an apology or
justification for; justify: Ignorance of the law excuses no one.
4. to
release from an obligation or duty: to be excused from jury duty.
5. to seek
or obtain exemption or release for (oneself): to excuse oneself from a meeting.
6. to refrain from exacting; remit; dispense with: to excuse a debt.
7.
to allow (someone) to leave: If you'll excuse me, I have to make a telephone
call.

"An excuse becomes an obstacle in your journey to success when it is made in place of your best effort or when it is used as the object of the blame." Bo Bennett

"An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded." Pope John Paul II

"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself." Henry Ward Beecher

And my PERSONAL favorite ...

"How strange to use "You only live once" as an excuse to throw it away." Bill Copeland

Why is it that we make excuses to ourselves when we fail to do the things we know we must?

People come up to me all the time and comment on my success in this whole weight loss journey. Inevitably, they ask me how I am doing it, or what "diet" I am on. When I respond with "I work out 6 days a week, hard, and I eat clean 24 hours a day/7 days a week", they blink a few times, usually take a step back and mutter something like "Ohhhhh, I could never dedicate that much time ... I don't have the will power ... my family wouldn't go along with it ..." Excuses.

A long time ago, I heard the quote that I have tried to live my life by:

"AN EXCUSE IS A JUSTIFICATION FOR A LOWER STANDARD."

I have no idea who wrote it, but, boy, did it pack a powerful punch when I heard it. I had a whole closet full of excuses for everything in my life, ready to be pulled from at a moment's notice. Late for work, deadline missed, over tired, grumpy, over weight, why I smoked ... you think of something and I can probably remember some excuse I used to justify my failure to do what needed to be done. But hearing that an excuse was not a good thing, but rather an attempt to make a lower standard "OK" ... that resonated deeply.

Shortly thereafter, I stopped making excuses. Certainly, sometimes there are reasons things happen, things that are out of your control, but there are no excuses for being less than you are capable of being. God gave each of us an infinite number of talents. Too often, when we think of talents, intangibles such as musical or artistic ability, financial acumen, spiritual insight ... come to mind. These are certainly talents ... but there are more. Tenacity, dedication, persistence, optimism, encouragement, nurturing ... the things that make us uniquely good. God gave us those gifts and we barely skim the surface of them. We sell our abilities short, repeatedly.

Another little nugget I heard years ago is "There is no such word as can't; there is only won't." It's a choice. The next time you hear yourself offering up an excuse, try substituting the word won't wherever you might use can't.

"I just won't find the time."

"I won't cook healthy meals like that, there's not time/the kids/husband won't eat it ..."

"I won't put the money aside to get a gym membership."

That last one? I hear that a lot. First, you do NOT need a gym membership to get up off the couch and move. Walking and running are free, calisthenics can be done in the kitchen. Squats, lunges, push-ups (Maureen is gonna love this one) can be done all around your house. You don't even need weights. Trust me, your body weight can be plenty of resistance. Mine was such a great resistance it kept me glued to the couch for way too long!

Secondly, if you really wanted to join a gym, there are ways to make it affordable. Insurance, scholarship programs at the local "YMCA", getting rid of the cable channels on the TV that you won't have time to watch anymore anyway ... there are ways.

We have to stop making excuses for ourselves. Believe me, I am not just preaching to readers ... I am preaching to myself. It is VERY easy for me to say something along the lines of "I am sooo tired today, I just don't have the energy to give it my all." OR ... "I have been soooooo stressed out ... I REALLY deserve that piece of chocolate/cookie/cake." My favorite "I just don't have any ME TIME. I am so busy doing for everyone else, I just want to sit and veg!!" Guess what, Christina?? Going to the gym and sweating your hind off IS your ME TIME. Cooking that delicious and healthy meal IS your ME TIME. Sure, the hubby and darling son get to enjoy it as well, but it is something that I am doing for ME. So what if it takes a little time. In the end, its worth it.

So, I am going to work really hard at eliminating all those little excuses that my mind likes to throw at me. I refuse to justify any lower standard in my life. And I am going to try really hard to be everything that God planned for me to be. Wanna join me?