Just Say No

It seems such a simple concept, saying "no". It's a small little word, only 2 letters and one syllable. It is also one of the most powerful words in our vocabulary. In fact, so powerful that 9 times out of 10, it is the first word we learn to speak. NO, I don't want to do that. NO, I don't want to go there. NO, I don't want to go to bed. NO, I don't want to eat that brussel sprout/broccoli/cauliflower/whatever.

NO, I don't want any dessert. (Thank you.)

NO, I can't skip my gym workout. NO, I can't even skip the 2nd workout of the day.

NO, I'm not going to eat more than 1 serving.

NO, I don't want that glass of wine. (Yes, I do. No, NO ... I don't!)

Sometimes NO feels like the heaviest, most dreaded word in the English language. Practically impossible to use. Especially in the face of, say, a perfectly made Tiramasu. Or when a loving husband comes home with a bottle of the absolute best Spanish Granache ever bottled anywhere. Ever.

It is quite easy for me to say no to spending money. (Especially when it is not to be spent on me, ha!) It is simple to deny my son access to McDonald's. But put in front of me one of those things I adore (tiramasu, granache ...) and the denial leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

I haven't had to struggle with it today. It was just something that popped into my head as I drove to The Vitamin Shoppe for some Protein Powder after boxing this morning. I need to remaster the art of saying NO to myself. For the past 4 days, I have done quite well. But then, there have been no real temptations placed in my path. The weekend is upon me, and I am sure those temptations will rear their ugly head. The rest is up to me.

Just. Say. NO!

Breakfast
4 egg whites, cooked hard then eaten on an Arnold Whole Wheat Sandwich Thin
2 cups black coffee

MM Snack
1/2 c. No-Sugar-Added canned peaches with 1/2 c. 1% Cottage Cheese

Lunch
Leftover Chicken Soup from last night's supper (about 1.5 c.)

MA Snack
1/4 c. mixed unsweetened dehydrated banana chip, sesame sticks, slivered raw almonds

Supper
4-oz. grilled chicken, mixed veggie salad with 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar, 1/2 baked potato with spray butter

Tethered by Solid Resolve

I have put together some really good days since returning from the Arnold Sports Expo. My food has been clean and nutritious. My workouts have been tough and effective. I am sincerely looking at this journey as one day at a time. I only have a few short weeks left until my Kettlebell Expo competition. I feel like I lost 2 weeks of training due to the FL trip and the subsequent injury. Wanting to bring my best game when the competition arrives, I am trying to carefully make up for lost time, keeping the health of my back in mind with every movement. I spend a LOT of time stretching right now, in the hopes that will keep me loose and limber and ready to work.

Right now, I am quietly motivated. I don't feel the need to shout from any rooftops that I am staying on track and am focused. I guess after so many months of feeling cut off, afloat, I just want to enjoy the security of routine, tethered by solid resolve. For those who are used to me pulling out the old soap box whenever I find a little motivation, that isn't happening this time around. I know what needs to be done, it's time to just do it. Nobody wants to hear you talk about it ... they want to see you perform.

So watch me fly.

Breakfast
1 svg. oatmeal with 1 tbsp. ground flax, 1 tbsp. wheat germ, 1 tsp. sucanat, 2 cups black coffee

MM Snack
1/2 c. cottage cheese, 10 green grapes

Lunch
Salad with grilled chicken, tomato, 1 boiled egg, red bell pepper, onion, cucumber, about a tbsp. bleu cheese and very little (maybe, maybe 2 tsp.) italian dressing

MA Snack
Protein powder mixed with water

Supper
Homemade chicken soup with zucchini, carrots, onion, tomato, and just a little (1 cup for the whole pot, which will make 8 servings) whole wheat pasta in homemade veggie stock, 1 small whole wheat roll, dry

Win, Win, Win!!

My cycling (Spinning, but Reebok has the copyright on that name, so we have to call it cycling) instructor, Emily, is a wonderful motivator. She obviously spends a lot of time coming up with new "rides", themed song lists and throws out challenges throughout the class. Today she asked us to think of that one person who "always beats you, no matter how hard you work." The person who gets the raise you wanted, the person who accomplishes easily the goal you struggle with ... THAT person, you know who it is.

After we raced that person (and beat them ... this is a mind trip, after all ... you actually get to beat your nemesis on your own mind trip!), she challenged us to think of someone new. Someone you had fought with recently. We were to think of beating them next. I found this task more difficult. I don't usually want to beat, competitively, the people I argue with. I don't usually want to beat them physically, either, but that's a different type of challenge. But it did make me start thinking. Why is it motivating to compete with other people?

For some of us, I am sure competition makes no difference whatsoever. My husband, for example, feels no need to compete with anyone other than himself. He is so self disciplined, so self-assured that he doesn't need any outside influence to make him work his hardest. In this particular area, we are complete opposites. I LOVE competing. I HATE being non-competitive. Meaning, there are so many areas in my life that I truly wish I had the talent, physicality, ability in which to compete, but am held back for various reasons.

I would love to be a real runner. I love the idea of running ... I just hate how it makes me feel. And how it breaks down my body. I would love to get in a boxing ring and actually be good at it. I would love to do any number of physical things, but I have a body with continuous joint issues. Let's face it, I am nearly 42 and it isn't going to get better. Still, I need to have something or someone to compete with to keep me interested and involved.

I look around the cycling class and try to find someone to beat. My legs must pump harder than his, my sprints need to be faster than hers. I do it in Kettlebell as well, but after I time, I find myself going into my head and competing more with my own body in that particular sport. In cycling, I have no idea if that days competition is using more or less tension than I am, but still I feel victorious if I perceive it as a win.

It's all about perception isn't it? How we perceive ourselves, our wins, our failures, how other perceive us, and ultimately respond to us. Changing that perception to positive in as many ways as we can, results in a win. Right now I am trying to change my perception of my body. Sure, I am not as thin or fit as so and so ... but, by golly, I am stronger. I am not at my goal, but boy have I made serious strides in the face of horrible odds over the past year. Now I just need to convince my spirit that these are wins.

“The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur.” ~Vince Lombardi~

Breakfast
4 egg whites on a whole wheat english muffin, 3 cups coffee, black

MM Snack
1/2 c. 1% cottage cheese, 1/2 c. mandarin oranges

Lunch
4-oz grilled chicken doused in buffalo sauce on lettuce with tomato, quartered, and cucumber slices

MA Snack
Protein powder mixed with water

Supper
4-oz grilled tuna with 1/4 c diced tomato, onion & garlic, 1/2 c. green beans, 8 steamed brussel sprouts

The Result of Interruption

It seems that writing every day, blogging my food intake every day, for a grand total of 30 days is made much more difficult when there are 2 fairly long driving trips thrown into the mix. Florida was a halt and start. Columbus seems to have been another. Although it needs to be mentioned that I was VERY good on this particular trip. However, I didn't turn my computer on once from Friday afternoon until this morning. That makes blogging a bit difficult.

I am not going to bore you further with my meals. I accomplished what I wanted to with this particular challenge, at least, I accomplished my main objective. I have gotten into the habit of tracking my food intake again. I am much more aware of every bite, good and bad, that enters my mouth. A Starbucks Venti Cinnamon Dolce Skinny Latte is still 160 calories, no matter how nice "Skinny" may sound. French fries might start off as a vegetable (of sorts), but potatoes are rendered useless when frenched and fried. Not as if I didn't know that ... but it is the most convenient side dish when eating whilst driving.

Seeing all the uber-fit ladies at the Arnold really made me want to get back in the game. Working out with Maureen in person really made me more excited about jumping on the fitness wagon. Cardio is not an evil thing and I am no longer going to say I hate it. Instead, I am going to insist that I LOVE it until it is true. I will get my cardio in 6 days per week, no matter what. And no, I am not going to count my KB workouts as cardio, but on those days I will reduce my minutes from 45 to 30.

I am still going to track my food. But if I miss a day writing it here, I won't stress as much. However, I will post it with every blog, and I hope to become more consistent in the blogging.

Oh yeah ... and Monica Brant is just as sweet, kind, and beautiful in person as she appears to be in her interviews. Tosca Reno is wonderfully inspiring. And Vanda Hadarean is kindness personified. Alicia Marie? Gorgeous! Don't know who any of those people are? Check 'em out! Some of the best there is in the fitness model world ... and I saw them live and in person at the Arnold Sports Expo this weekend. Can't wait to go again next year ... and to look much better standing next to them in my pics.

Breakfast
4 egg whites, one whole wheat english muffin, 3 cups black coffee

MM Snack
1/2 c. 1% cottage cheese, 1/2 c. sugar free mandarin oranges

Lunch
4-oz. Grilled chicken, doused with buffalo wing hot sauce, on lettuce with tomato

MA Snack
1 oz craisins, 1 oz raw almonds

Supper
4-oz baked chicken breast, 1 cup steamed broccoli, 1-oz. walnuts

Later ....
Cup of decaf herbal mint tea

Day 22 Mending

Today was a pretty good day. My back is significantly better, although I am still being careful. I get to hop in a car and drive to the Arnold's in Columbus, OH tomorrow. I am not thrilled with the prospect of driving again and what that might mean for my back. But, Ohhhhh, will it be worth it!

I have always dreamed of attending the great Arnold Sports Festival. People I have admired from afar will be up close and personal. You have all heard me write about my *girl-crush* on Monica Brant. I have just admired her so much for her work ethic, her faith, her incredible physique, her generous spirit ... pretty much everything about her. I will have several chances to meet her. I hope I don't cry. LOL

I am looking forward to seeing thousands of people to be inspired by. Motivation comes from within, but inspiration can fuel that fire. There should be lots of walking, talking, fire-breathing inspiration in the Columbus Convention Center this weekend.

Yay!!

Breakfast
Orange, 1 oz. walnuts

Mid-Morning Snack
Protein shake made with 8-oz. skim milk

Lunch
Lettuce salad with bell pepper, onion, tomato, grilled chicken and balsamic vinegar

Mid-Afternoon Snack
1/2 cup Mandarin Oranges, 1/2 c. 1% cottage cheese

Supper
1 svg. bison chili (leftover)

Day 21 *Sigh*

STILL dealing with a weak and aching back. Ditto on the left shoulder. I have boxing/KB with Coach Dom tomorrow ... I hope I can make it worth his time. I'm still keeping my workouts very light. Just elliptical, little resistance and light weights, when I do them. Did a few squats and calf raises today ... just for something in the lower body region.

I took two vicodin before bed last night and this morning was still exhausted. After I put Ian on the bus, early for chorus practice, I decided to lay back down. At 10:30(!!!) I woke again. Less tired, lol, but very behind schedule. Therefore, I skipped breakfast and my morning snack. Just putting that out there before I type out the food of the day.

Lunch
Turkey on whole wheat with lettuce, tomato & onion

Snack
Orange
1 0z walnuts

Supper
Bison chili, 1.5 cups

Lots of water ... surprisingly, no coffee.

Day 20 Still on Light Duty

Still protecting this back. Light exercise, elliptical, lighter arm work ... feels like I am a woose. I was supposed to start the "10,000 swings in 30 days" challenge today (March 1st) ... but apparently I need to wait a bit longer.

Tried to keep my food light with the decrease in activity. Looks like I am going to the Arnold's as pudgy as I can be. Hopefully the cool camera will make me look like "Press". Maybe I can swipe a badge ... ?

Breakfast
1 svg oatmeal with dried berries (2 T.), 1 T. each flax seed and wheat germ
coffee, black, 2 c.

Mid-Morning Snack
Orange
100 cal pack of almonds

Lunch
Salad made with lettuce, grape tomatoes, onion, cucumber and 3 oz chicken breast. Sprinkled with balsamic vinegar

Mid-Afternoon SnackChocolate protein shake with water

Supper
4 oz baked chicken breast, 1 c. steamed broccoli, 1/2 c. brown rice
water, water, water