Do Not Judge Me.

"To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves." ~Will
Durant

Have you ever had your feelings hurt by someone, knowing full well that it was unintentional, or said with complete and utter ignorance of a situation? It makes your heart sink a little in your chest, causes your breath to catch. Possibly, it makes you question your own motivations for doing the things that you do, for living the life you choose to live.

It happens to me a lot. Probably most often because I portray such a "tough exterior". The face I show to the world is one that is not often hurt. I learned at a very young age to hide emotion. Quite possibly, if you say something directly to me and are staring intently into my face, what you will see is a tightening of the cheeks, a hardening of the eyes. Maybe I will pause a moment before I answer or my voice will be a little quieter and more controlled than it ordinarily is. If you are not standing in front of me, or you are not looking for these signs, most likely you will never know that your words bothered me. I will probably bury the hurt inside somewhere and turn to the next person, or the next item on my agenda, smile, and go about my business. But down in that hole where these types of affronts are buried? My thoughts are churning. I am deciding if you are worth the time and effort it will take to correct you. More often than not, you will end up as the subject of a blog entry, usually without a name referenced. If you were aware of your words, you might recognize yourself in mine. If not, then it is just a place for me to write my opinion and send it off into the universe, possibly to educate others on the importance of being mindful of how easy it is to hurt one another.

We all have our own path to walk. God has given each of us specific gifts and required that we use them for good, that we spread the wealth of His goodness and hope that the seeds will take root and generosity and happiness can spring forth from them. I have always been told that my gifts are music and writing. Music I share as much for my own enjoyment as for others. Luckily, God decided that I should be able to carry a tune, so my singing might actually be somewhat enjoyable. With my writing, I try to convey my own struggles and successes. I use my written word to share my life and the lessons I have been taught with others who might have similar needs and desires.

I also believe that God gave me a desire to keep His temple, my body, in its best condition possible. I have found that when I am fueling it properly and I am keeping it tuned up regularly, I am far more effective with the other gifts He has given me. It's not just vanity, although as a human being, I am quite sure that vanity does indeed play a part. We all want to look good. But, from the bottom of my heart I can tell you, it is far more important to me that I FEEL good. I am happier, I am more productive, I have more energy, I am better able to utilize the gifts I have been given in a way which might be pleasing to the One who created this temple I have to live in.

If there are others who choose to walk a different path, that is perfectly fine with me. I do not judge ANYONE based upon their appearance. Goodness knows, I have spent a lot of years going against the fire inside me, living an unhealthy and unhappy life. I was not created to be a sedentary person. My system is not created to be happy and healthy on lower octane foods. God gave each of us a different set of gifts and priorities, He created each and everyone of us differently and I have to believe that pertains to our physical self as well. For some, the fuel they put into their bodies doesn't change their mentality one iota. For me, it makes all the difference in the world. I simply function better when I am eating clean and working out. And God gave me the gift of writing in order to share it with others who might be built similar to me.

What I ask, is that you not judge me based upon my lifestyle. I am not obsessed with food. I am not obsessed with working out. I am absolutely addicted to feeling healthy and whole and productive and HAPPY. I also LOVE sharing it with anyone who is interested. If you are not interested, that's just fine. I am happy for you that you have found your path and are walking it with joy and fulfillment, knowing that you are living your life exactly as God created you to be. But don't ridicule me, or judge me, because my path is different than yours. Leave my words for those who can benefit from them and be happy for me that I am racing down my own path, exactly as I was created to do.

Remember, too, that you have the ability to hurt and cause harm to others when you ignorantly judge them, based upon your own standards. Luckily, I have come to a place in my life where I understand that I am created differently from everyone else and I know longer feel the need to conform to someone else's standards. I am kind of OK with being different and I like being who I am. Your words won't cause irreparable harm to my life. But years ago I was not so lucky and it has taken quite some time to get to this point. Treat everyone, speak to everyone, write about everyone, with the same amount of respect you would hope to be given in return.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." ~Mother
Teresa~