I know that it has been a while, and I am truly sorry that I haven't had the time, nor really the inclination, to sit and write. I want desperately to make it up to all of you, but frankly, I am exhausted. And a little bit emotional.
I'll explain all that in a minute.
First, the great, fantastic and better than "good" news is that I made it through Thanksgiving AND I reached one of my personal goals. As of this mornings WI, I am down over 10% of my body weight since I started this journey. Officially, the amount lost is 22.3 lbs since October. I will take it. Especially after Turkey and Stuffing Day. My next goal is to lose another 11.5 lbs by New Year's Day. This is going to be tricky, as it is hoping for more than my 2 lbs. per week average. But that's my personal goal. Better to set the bar high and get strong reaching for it, than too low and get lazy passing it by.
It's also going to be difficult because chances are looking very good that I will be having rotator cuff surgery before the end of the month. My Orthopaedic Specialist today was not optimistic about my lack of response to Physical Therapy over the past 4 weeks. Putting it bluntly, there is no change for the better and if anything, it has regressed some. On Thursday I will go for the MRI that determines the full extent of the damage and the next plan of action. One week from today I have an appointment scheduled to go over the MRI results with the surgeon.
I guess the fact that I walked out of the office without facing the dreadful cortisone needle should have bolstered my mood a bit, but, alas, no.
Mostly, I am just scared and sad. Disappointed, exhausted, unsure ...
I want to sleep again. All the way through the night, without waking to a stab of pain to my shoulder if I move the wrong way, or get bumped in the night. I want to lift things above my head without fear. I want to hit balls in April without maneuvering my arm up to an odd, uncomfortable and WEAK angle. I want to surprise the boys in the outfield when I hit it over their heads again. I want the words "I'm sorry I am such a grump, my shoulder is just really bothering me today" to no longer be in any conversation of mine.
So, I will keep plugging along, doing what I do, following the rules and hopefully, there will be answers and ultimately results in my future.
Just for the record, I am not listing my food for the past several days ... I will just start again with today and you get to trust me that I did truly stay on plan. :-D
TUESDAY FOOD DIARY
Breakfast
Ezekiel 4:9 Sprouted 100% Whole Grain Bread, 2 serving
*All Whites* 100% Liquid Egg Whites, 3 serving
Blue Agave, Organic (Wholesome Sweeteners brand), 0.5 tbsp
Olivio Buttery Spray 5 sprays, 1 serving
Lunch
Jennie-O Extra Lean Ground Turkey, 4 oz
Herdez Salsa Casera (medium), 8 tbsp
Margaret Holmes Seasoned Pinto Beans, 0.5 cup
Dinner
Romaine Lettuce (salad), 1 cup, shredded
Shrimp, cooked, 3 oz
Kraft Mayo Light Mayonnaise (Mayo), 1 tbsp
Celery, raw, 1 tbsp
Snack
Carrots, raw, 1 cup, strips or slices
Cottage Cheese, 1% Milkfat, 0.75 cup (not packed)
Libby's Tropical Mandarin Oranges w/ Splenda, 0.5 cup
Universal Super Whey Protein Powder, 23 gram(s)
Milk, nonfat, 1 cup
No comments:
Post a Comment