It Won't Kill You

Have you ever known one of those people who seem to have an excuse for everything? Or maybe, they just seem to have a negative reaction to every helpful comment you make. Sometimes, it is just that day, and not that the person is a Scrooge/Grinch/Annoyance all the time. Sometimes. And, sometimes ... its just the person. They are built with the glass half-empty outlook and nothing that happens in life is going to change it.

I'm not that. I am NOT a glass half-empty girl. I am a "the glass has water in it and it totally depends on the moment you ask me how full it is, what song is on the radio, what temperature it is outside, how filling was my breakfast" kind of girl.

Today, though, I think I might have come off sounding like the Scrooge/Grinch/Annoyance. To Maureen. I think I might have bugged her. So I quit. Talking, that is, not working with her. I just figured that, although my points were valid, maybe I just needed to shut up and go along with the fuller-glass view of life she exudes.

I'm sure it actually started with Tuesday when I told her under no circumstance would I eat grapefruit. A girl has her lines, and that is one of mine. Unless I can drown it in honey. Since that's not an option, neither is grapefruit. I mean, what's the use in eating something you will simply eject back into the toilet 5 minutes later?

Today, it was "40 minutes on the stair master at a level 8?? You do realize I can barely accomplish 20 full minutes at a level 8? In fact, I rarely DO accomplish it! A good day is 15 minutes at level 8 and 5 more draped over the machine in agony!"

Her response? "It won't kill you; what are you worried about?"

My response? "Being found draped over the machine, passed out cold, soaking wet and unable to move my legs."

OK, the response was in my head ... but it was at that moment that I chose to stop talking ... and just listen. Listen to her tell me that I had 5 more days on the stairmaster at level 8 to get it up to a full 20 minutes. And just to be kind, she told me I could do the long session at a level 6 (with disappointment coloring every timber of her voice.) By then, after 5 days of level 8 at 20 ... 40 minutes on level 6 would be cake.

My response? "If I work out the next 5 stairmaster days for 20 minutes at a level 8 I won't be able to walk by that 6th day. Hmmmph."

OK, again, it was in my head and I wisely remained silent.

I don't like disappointing her. I don't like being negative. I don't like grapefruit.

I have to tell you, my body ACHES most of the time, and I am not talking about my shoulder, although that does, too. I get muscle spasms in my butt at night. Butt spasms are hard to sleep through. I don't want to be negative, I want to be able to do everything she asks with the enthusiasm of a cheerleader ... but my body is sore. Getting old plainly sucks. Being overweight, out of shape AND old? That is hell.

I just keep hoping that it truly will get easier as the weight comes off and that the reward will be worth every ache of the journey.

And I will try to keep my glass in that perspective.

"It takes a rare person to want to hear what he doesn't want to hear." ~ Dick Cavett ~