Individual

There is a current marketing spot, I believe for Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig, which is making its rounds on the commercial circuit. While images of 2 girls flash through various stages of life, the voice-over discusses how even though they may grow up in identical circumstance, walk very similar paths in life, no two person's bodies are the same. No two people share the same metabolism ... insinuating that no 2 people will respond identically to a weight loss program and therefore it needs to be tailored to each individual.

This marketing campaign fulfilled at least one if its goals ... it got me thinking. Not about Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig or whatever other weight loss program it might have been touting. It got me thinking about individuality in relation to fitness and weight loss. Cookie cutter programs simply are not going to work long term, no matter how much this multi-million dollar industry wants you to believe so.

However, this concept doesn't apply only to "commercial" programs, such as WW or JC. It applies to the silly diet's, such as those involving cabbage soup, grapefruit, detox teas or whatever. It also applies to the serious programs, those based upon really solid nutritional advice. Those programs like The Eat Clean Diet (which I am a huge fan of), the Paleo Plan, The Mediterranean Diet, South Beach, Atkins (which I am NOT a huge fan of), etc. and so forth. They all work for a while, and most likely they will all work for everybody ... for a while.

At some point, the metabolism switches, the resolve and willpower diminishes, the body and mind stop responding. And that's when each individual person must dig deeper and find that something extra inside, that thing that reignites his metabolism, that reinvigorates her willpower. That is when the individual has to come back into play and figure out what works for him or her.

Here's what I know about me:

1. I get really bored eating the same things all the time and I will either a) quit eating or I will b) cheat.

2. I can't go "carb free". It makes my brain fuzzy, it makes me a stark, raving, bitch. (Sorry for the bad language, but it's the truth.)

3. My body doesn't respond to monotony in caloric intake. Meaning, I need to change it up every couple of days to keep the metabolism firing on all cylinders. If I eat exactly 1300 calories every day for weeks on end, my body will adjust and maintain. If I eat 900 calories every day, my body will adjust and maintain. If I eat more, say 1500 calories, my body will adjust and ... gain. Sad, huh?

4. The type and quality of calories matter a lot. 100 calories of apple will be used wisely by this little machine I call my body. 100 calorie snack pack of chocolate covered pretzels will not be used wisely, or used at all, and will be stored as fat. I am assuming until my body can figure out what to do with it. Nutrient rich food contains *data* this machine is familiar with and knows how to use. Nutrient deficient junky snack foods it treats like SPAM and throws into a "fat file" to be perused later, when I am trying to figure out why my computer (body) is running so slowly.

5. I need to allow myself the opportunity to cheat (treat myself) once in a while. I take it very personally that I am not "allowed" to have a glass or 2 of red wine with my husband once a week. It makes me feel deprived, but even more than that, it makes me feel ... juvenile. Like Mommy & Daddy are telling me I can't do something I already earned the right to do. And that makes me rebellious. Kinda like, well, if I am gonna get in trouble, I might as well do it really well. EARN my punishment. So if I am "dying" for that glass of wine, piece of cheese, slice of cake, I should allow myself a small glass, a bite, a taste ... rather than depriving and then going back later to binge in rebellion.

There's a lot more I am sure that I will learn about myself. But most importantly, it s that I am me, not Monica Brant, not Maureen, not Coach Dom ... ME. I can't expect my body to respond like anyone else's, and I need to be the biggest expert on "me" that there is.

“Every person is the creation of himself, the image of his own thinking and believing. As individuals think and believe, so they are.” ~Claude M. Bristol~

Determination ...

You know that it has been too long in between blogs when the system kicks you out and you can't remember your passcode. I'm just sayin' ...

Of course, I haven't much time today. This has been my excuse every day ... however, I opted to ignore all excuses today and simply state it. Then rush my little fingers into action in the 45 minutes I have available to me for showering, dressing, eating, now blogging, and finally springing my son from school to take him to the endodontist consultation this afternoon.

I have written many entries in the past week ... in my head, while driving ... in totally inappropriate and unworkable places. Inappropriate meaning ... no means to jot down the masterpieces composed in my head, sitting at red lights, watching my son at karate (sans pen and paper) ...

Actually, this is one of the few weeks that I wished for a laptop to take with me everywhere I go. I spend a lot of time waiting for Ian to complete whatever it is he is doing (karate and tutoring being two such things). I don't write well. For some reason, my brain blocks up hard creatively when I put pen to paper. However, put me in front of a keyboard and I can light it up fairly quickly. The trouble with a laptop is ... I can NOT type on one of those itty bitty little keyboards! I would have to carry a real keyboard with me everywhere I go, plug it in and find a place other than my lap on which to type. And this somewhat negates the purpose of a laptop computer.

I digress ... what I am trying to say is that there have been lots of lovely and creative thoughts this week that simply have not made it to *post* due to my time constraints.

Today I barely have time to discuss any of them ... but this one little short one will have to do. I KICKED THE BOTTOM OFF THE STAIRMASTER TODAY!

Remember, last post I was bemoaning Maureen's suggestion that I tuck in a 40 minute, level 8 stairmaster session on January 21st due to my schedule conflict for my usual spin class? I was certain that they would be mopping me up from the floor if I so much as attempted that mind-numbing task. She gave in and allowed me the option of a level 6 climb. Many of my friends and exercise cohorts deemed her certifiable and agreed with my assessment that it simply wasn't to be done.

Which of course, put me in a competitive mindset. It's one thing for ME to say I can't do something ... but when other's start agreeing with that lowered assessment ... hmmm. It gives me something to prove. I'm kind of freaky competitive like that.

So I started right away trying to get my 20 minute sessions up to a full level 8. It took 2 days. OK ... I do one minute at level 5 to warm up, then finish it out at level 8. Tuesday I was off stairmaster duty. But other than that, I have climbed every single day since my last post. Today I accomplished 42 minutes on the stairmaster. One minute warm up of level 3, 4 minutes revving up my brain warm up at level 5, then 35 full minutes at level 8, followed by a 2 minute cool down at levels 6 & 4. I climbed 2,160 total stairs today ... just shy of the Sears Tower. I would have kept going just to get that Sears Tower goal (another 75 steps or so) but there was a gentleman who had been patiently waiting for me to finish my climb and didn't complain that I stayed on the machine 12 minutes longer than the rules allow. I didn't want to push my luck ... but I did climb as fast as I could in cool down, hehehe. I know, not much of a cool down that way, but I was competing, you see.

I walked my heart rate down after, no worries.

What I was left with, after cleaning up the pools of sweat beneath my machine (rather than the staff cleaning ME up off the floor!) was this:

NOTHING is impossible for me, if I put my mind and determination behind it. No matter how big and difficult it might seem, if I just keep doing what I need to do, I can accomplish absolutely ANYTHING I put my mind to.

Even that Iron Man Triathlon I have dreamed about since I was too young to be scared.

No, I am not putting my name into some hat for the Iron Man. Not yet. But I do believe that if, when, I decide to do it ... I can. Funny isn't it ... how people agreeing with my own lowered assessment of my abilities actually brought me to this realization?

Now, don't any of you change and start telling me anything differently than you have been. I need you to be just who you are and have been so that I can become something different. If that makes any sense whatsoever ...

>"A man of sense is never discouraged by difficulties; he redoubles his industry and his diligence, he perseveres, and infallibly prevails at last." Lord Chesterfield

Ps. Thank YOU, Maureen, for pushing me beyond my own limits and expectations for myself. For believing I am even tougher than I thought I was and never letting me get away with being wimpy. I intend to keep proving you right, no matter what my first reaction may be ...

Resolved

January is the time to rethink one's life and what has been done with it. To look for ways to improve its quality over the next 12 months. Many of us make "Resolutions" and gamely put forth maximum effort towards success ...until our energy dies out and takes our will power down the drain with it.

A few years ago I decided I would never make another New Year's Resolution. That's not to say that I haven't used that ever-so-convenient timetable as a kick off point for various weight loss routines. I just refuse to make the official proclamation. This year, I resolved to kick that goal into high gear several months before the usual convenient timetable. So far, it has worked quite well for me, but there are a few things that I have let slide and I am here to "resolve" those particular issues.

Let it be known, however, that these are NOT New Year's Resolutions. ;-) These are just tweaks that I see need to be made in my current routine in order to ensure continued success.

1) I stopped logging my every bite. It seemed pointless after a while because I was literally sitting at my desk and entering data off a sheet of paper in front of me. And since my food varied very little from day to day, it was more *cut & paste* than anything. Go back and look ... every 3rd day was identical. But when I stopped putting down every bite, it became easier for unplanned items to slip in ... such as the little bags of chips. I was pretty good, in comparison to the old me, even with those little slip ups ... but you know? They add up! OK, so I was extra hungry one day and reached for carrots. A couple of cups of carrots ... and didn't bother to write it down because ... for goodness sakes. It's CARROTS! However, if I go back and look, those carrots might have been the extra 30 or 40 calories that put me over my daily allowance ... and since I wasn't adding 30-40 calories worth of exercise to counteract the intake ... well, you get the picture. It adds up. So I have decided that it is time to start writing everything down again. I probably won't blog it because ... well, its not exactly reading excitement. But I will post my slip ups. Hopefully, there will be very few of them!

2) I will blog more regularly again. After the surgery, it was difficult to type. It was difficult to do anything. My snow globe office can be quite chilly if I haven't sufficiently warmed it up and the cold made the shoulder ache. So, I avoided the computer. After a while, I *fell out of the habit* of taking my coffee at my desk and writing. Or posting after dinner each night. I don't get a lot of feedback, so it didn't really feel as if it mattered all that much ... and I just let it slide. What I have realized is this ... I do not NEED feed back. This writing is for me, not for anyone else. This is where I share the deep and the dark of my soul on this particular journey. If there are others who want to read it, that's great! But the purpose of it is for me ... and for that reason alone it is important that I keep on putting fingers to keyboard.

3) ABs are important. Yes, I do them ... but they have not been a priority. I always know that I can *get to them at home ... sometime*. And if any part of my workout is going to slip through the cracks ... it is the AB work. It used to be my favorite part of the workout daily grind. I held the dorm record for sit ups. (Yes, we actually had a contest. I did 700. There were a couple of breaks in there and the last 200 were not full sit ups, but crunches instead, but still, I did 700. I beat Skippy. Long story. Remembering how I felt the next day(s) ... I will never do it again.) I intend to make sure the AB workout is intense and varied ... and 6 days a week.

4) Finally, I signed up with my best friend, Toni, to run a 5k in April ... on her birthday. She signed up first and I horned in on her commitment. I need something to run for, something to train for. I love the idea of being a runner ... and I do fairly well at it, as long as there is a goal. But I would rather spend hours on the Precor at the gym than the treadmill. And this is Rochester, NY ... I'm not running outside until it is at least in the 40's and most of the snow is gone. I'm just not. So I am excited to begin training for that race in a couple of weeks. (Physical Therapist says the shoulder should be ready for that kind of jostling by the end of the month.)

That's it. The above-mentioned 4 things are what I am resolved to improve upon. If they become easy and old-hat before the end of the year, I will make some new ones. I want to always be a work in progress. I don't ever want to be *finished*. And I don't need to wait for a national holiday to make a resolution. I can make a new one every single day, if needed. It's just about improvement.

"Remember that what pulls the strings is the force hidden within; there lies the power to persuade, there the life - there, if one must speak out, the real man."
- Marcus Aurelius

Will. Power.

Will (wil) n. 1. The mental faculty by which one deliberately chooses or decides upon a course of action; volition. 2. An instance of the exercising of will; choice. 3. Deliberate intention or wish. 4. The power to arrive at one's own decision and to act upon it independently in spite of opposition. 5.a. Determination; diligent purposefulness. b. Self control; self discipline.

Pow-er (pou'er) n. 1. The ability or capacity to act or perform effectively. 2. Strength or force exerted or capable of being exerted; might. 3. The ability or official capacity to exercise control; authority. 4. Forcefulness; effectiveness.

"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not." James Gordon

"Willingness is essential in any initiation or in making any dream come true. I can't often means I won't. You can change I won't to I will with will power." Marcia Wieder

"What you have to do and the way you have to do it is incredibly simple. Whether you are willing to do it, that's another matter." Peter F. Drucker

"There is not great talent without great will power." Honore de Balzac

If ever there was a secret to life, Will Power must be it. Without it, nothing can be done. When one's will has been taken from them, even the simplest act of getting out of bed each morning becomes a task impossible to achieve. The desecration of human will is the weapon of terrorists and dictators. Having the ability to sustain during times of incredible duress is most certainly the greatest gift God gave us upon creation. Human beings are made to be resilient. We were created with a desire to accomplish, with an ability to stand back up even when our world has collapsed for the hundredth time.

Always, there is something that desires to upend your will power, but nothing diminishes our ability to stand back up ... except ourselves.

Ok, if you are the person reading this who has someone standing over top of you and literally holding you down, foot on your chest, pressing with all their might to keep you in a position of subservience, then you are right. Someone OTHER than yourself is holding you back. You have a justifiable excuse.

The rest of us do not.

I have been accused of having Iron Will Power ... and right now I am very proud of that accusation. However, it is not because of any super-human strength. It's just a decision that I made and I my intention to be a woman of integrity. The only person who will benefit, really, from this decision is me. The only person I have to answer to is me. And the only person I can truly disappoint by my failure is ME.

I am OVER failing myself.

Why is it that we hate to disappoint others, but we have far less qualms about disappointing ourselves? Am I not worthy of the same respect that I try to give others? If I told my friend that I was going to be somewhere, or do something, would I not be sure to do just those things? How, then, can I excuse myself for failing to ... finish my workouts when I say I am going to? Eat the things I am supposed to? Avoid the things I know will trip me up?

In September I made a decision that I was no longer going to disappoint myself and this amazing thing happened. I learned that I have a tremendous amount of will power. I also learned that not buying any excuses, from others OR from myself, was perfectly acceptable. NOT doing the workout, NOT eating the right foods, NOT avoiding the unhealthy stuff ... all of this is NOT ACCEPTABLE.

I will not accept my son failing in school. When he struggles with a subject, we get him the help he needs, either by sitting down and working through the problems with him, or finding a tutor who can do a better job. Either way, allowing him to simply fail is not an option.

In the same way, allowing myself to give up, flail, fail ... not an option. If I am struggling, I will get the help I need. I will find a new direction, but I will not just quit. Ever. Again.

So, for those who have asked me how I do it, how I have scrounged up the will power ... there you have it. I have always had it, hidden inside of me. I just allowed myself the option of quitting previously. And this time? It is SIMPLY NOT AN OPTION.



(food diary to come later)

I Hate Her, I Hate Her, I Hate Her!

Not really. Actually, I kind of loved her after our first consultation yesterday. I am excited, encouraged ... amped and ready to go.

HOWEVER, my legs? Hate her. My bumm? Hates her. My entire physical being? You get the picture. Mostly its my legs ... and that's just after an AM workout today. Can't imagine how I will be feeling tomorrow when it all really sets in. But this is good pain, right? This is the kind of pain that shows you hard work was accomplished. The kind of pain that you know will diminish in a couple of days (just in time for round 2!) and will leave you feeling stronger than before.

I'm not going to fill you in on exactly what I am doing, as that would be giving away the secrets. If you want in on the secrets, let me know and I will put you in contact with the Queen of Mysteries herself. But I will tell you that the current plan is cardio approx. 40 minutes per day, 6 days a week, and a full body workout 3 times a week, with at least one break day in between. And I will also tell you that right now it involves an insane amount of squats.

Squats! I have always prided myself on being something of a Squat Master. Catching in Softball has given me quads & hammies of steel beneath the quivering jello I call my thighs. I am an avid biker ... my favorite cardio is my spin class. All these things should make squats a happy place for me in this new realm of physical fitness, right? Well ... let's see ... NO! I did a total of 120 squats of various forms today. I was actually relieved to do lunges (ugh!) and push ups (double ugh!!) Add to that some serious biking on the stationary bike for 40 minutes at a level 7 and you can just color me done. If anyone needs me tomorrow, I will be seated on the sofa moaning in agony. At least until it is time to get on the elliptical for my next cardio appt. *sigh* It's good though. It really is. "Pain is weakness leaving the body" and I am going to bet that there will be a ton of weakness exiting my lower extremeties tomorrow.

I also had an appointment with my GP about my shoulder, who confirmed the rotator cuff injury and referred me to a Orthopaedic specialist. I have that fun visit on Monday. It's amazing how fast the body can deteriorate when you start getting old.

By the way, yesterday was a pretty outstanding food day. Today is also going quite well and I am really encouraged by this.

Breakfast
* Wheatabix, 2
* Milk, nonfat, 0.75 cup
* Regular Coffee, 2 cup (8 fl oz)
* Blue Agave, Organic (Wholesome Sweeteners brand), 0.5 tbsp

Lunch
* Turkey & Roasted Pepper Pita, 0.25 serving
* Spicy Lentil Chili

Dinner
* Chicken Breast
* Asparagus, 4 spear, small
* Near East Whole Grain Wheat Couscous Roasted Garlic & Olive Oil, 0.75 cup

Snack
* Blue Diamond Whole Natural Almonds 100 Calories Pack
* Banana, fresh, 1 medium
* Clementine, 2 serving

That's all for today. All comments are welcomed!