Act Like a Duck

I am a fan of Grey's Anatomy. I know, I know .. it's kind of melodramatic fluff ... but snappy dialogue, real-life medical issues and fun characters have kept me glued the screen ever since the big bomb-scare episode that ran directly after Super Bowl a few years back. Recently, I saw a rerun of an episode in which Alex claims he is "acting like a duck". In a nutshell, he's not known for being a great, mature, monogamous guy in relationships, but he figured if he started acting like one, after enough time he might actually become one. In other words, if he acted like a duck long enough, he might start quacking. Of course, those words have resonated with me over the past week.

Act like a duck.

I am not a body builder. I am not a perfect specimen of fitness. I don't even look all that much like an avid exerciser. But if I act like one long enough, maybe I will start to quack. I want to be all of these things. I long for the physique, the stamina of a professional athlete. I know that I will probably not ever be one. However, if I start acting like one, start eating like one, maybe I will truly to start to look like one.

Yesterday, I rushed home after church to change into workout clothes, threw some chopped up chicken breast and green beans in a bowl and dashed out the door for the kettlebell class. On the way, I balanced the bowl on my lap, eating as I drove, listening to Eminem blasting through my speakers. The thought came from no where "Yep, I'm THAT girl. I AM the girl that eats crappy food just because it is nutrient rich fuel and will get me the physique I want. I AM the girl who makes her family switch up its routine just so she can make a specific class. I AM that crazy chick."

Of course, I'm not always that chick. Sometimes I am the girl who whines because she wants to have cake, too. Who complains that it's not fair she doesn't get to enjoy eating anymore. Often, I am the girl who can be heard retching pathetically when Maureen starts talking about eating tuna more often. But if I want to look like those people whose physique I admire, I need to eat like them, too. No amount of exercise can make up for it. A great body is built in the kitchen. It gets tuned up at the gym.

That's not to say that I am going to constantly eat things that disgust me. I actually love chicken breast and green beans. Just not at 10:00am, lukewarm from a bowl on my lap as I drive. I don't like tuna, but I think I can handle it a few times a week. It IS just fuel. I learned yesterday that if I just bake a sweet potato and use a little butter spray and sea salt, I can stomach those as well. Tosca's eating plan has me eating one every single day, but I think I can substitute beets or rutabaga in occasionally, instead. I have also learned that oatmeal, farina & millet can all be eaten plain, without sweeteners or fruit and be quite tasty.

I can't have my cake and eat it, too. If I want to have a great physique, I simply must fuel my body with foods that are clean and nutrient rich. If I want to eat cake, I have to forgo my desire to have that great physique. Yes, for those who are panicking WITH me right now, there will be cheats eventually, down the road. Rewards for making certain goals. Carrots hanging past certain obstacles to make me hurdle them faster and with less complaint. But ultimately it is a choice. Do I want to have that great body? Or do I want to eat the cake?

QUACK!

"Tell me what you eat, I'll tell you who you are." ~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin~

Kettle-what?

Today was the first day of my "Competition Kettlebell Training" class. It was a fantastic workout, but luckily, this week anyway, no more difficult than my regular hour long class on Mondays, nor my private training session on Thursdays. I expect that will change, as there was a lot of info to get out today.

I've had a few people ask me what the heck kettlebell training is. I've directed them to the ROC Boxing website, as well as encouraged a hefty google search. In fact, one really good basic article can be found at:

http://www.kettlebell.net/articles/what-is-a-kettlebell .

I thought that I might share what Kettlebell is for ME today, as that definition is considerably different. I mean, I work out in the weight room regularly ... why is this much of a change? Why do I need to add yet another *thing* to my crazy fitness agenda? I guess if I need to sum it up in one word, it would be:

COMPETITION.

Let's face it, I am not a spring chicken any more. If I had been a more diligent runner or biker in my younger years, I might be a more competitive racer today. Maybe, if I had started boxing while in my twenties, I might be able to hold my own effectively in a ring. However, starting in my mid-life (How the heck did I get here, already?!) renders me fairly ineffective, competitively, in most sports.

And I need to compete.

Kettlebell offers me a way to compete, with a chance at actually being competitive, even though am starting late. It's tailor made for my muscular structure. It's also a pretty good fit for my ability to zone out and just keep going until the body stops working. Top that off with the cherry I call "Fun Factor" and you have a pretty perfect little workout plan.

As I mentioned New Year's Eve, they have kettlebell competitions at the Arnold. Give me a year, and I might actually be able to attend as a competitor, rather than an awe-struck fan. Certainly won't find me entering any power-lifting or bikini-fitness competitions, but with kettlebell I stand a ghost of a chance.

Part of the competition class is entering at a certain weight, which means setting a goal weight and hitting it within 12 weeks, when we actually compete. This means no more latte's, or a dip with a chip on Super Bowl Sunday. I have decided to give Tosca Reno's Clean Eating program a try. I have followed my own (or rather Maureen's, then a combination of both of ours) clean eating regimen for over a year. Following Tosca's plan simply takes the guesswork out of the equation for me. Less work, less thinking. Just eat what she says. For those of you familiar with the plan, I am following the Cooler 1 plan, at least for the 1st month (It is recommended that you only follow this plan for 1-2 weeks. However, as it is very close to the eating plan I have already been following, I feel it's OK to extend it a bit.)

Summing it up, Kettlebell offers me a chance to train for a competition, actually be competitive and gives me a goal with a finish line, forcing me to be consistent and diligent.

“A competitive world offers two possibilities. You can lose. Or, if you want to win, you can change.”