So long, 2010

See, here's the thing ... I have spent the past several months of 2010 as a less disciplined person than I was the beginning months. Today, as I was stepping in time on the stair master, I was reminded that one year ago, I was just a few short days out of shoulder surgery. I was adamant that nothing would get in the way of my progress, so I worked out daily, one arm in a sling. I ate clean every single day. This take it all and leave nothing behind attitude stood up very well for me. Until April 25th. That's the date of my race in Toledo. My first real race since moving to Rochester. The race itself is superfluous ... I ran well, I had my personal best time, I enjoyed the time with my BFF, Toni. However, 2 things happened on the way home. First, I took my tired, aching body and put it into the drivers seat of a car for 7 hours. My already damaged left knee seized up on me and has given me no relief since. Second, during the ride home, I received a call from my Mom that changed my life forever. My Dad had a brain tumor and the news never got any better after that.

2010 has been a very difficult year for me. Obstacles at every turn, heartbreak around every corner. The least important thing on my list of "things" was taking care of the physical aspect of me. This isn't to say that I dropped everything. I still went to the gym regularly. I still tried to follow a clean eating regimen. But my heart has not been in it for a long time.

Dad died on August 9th and, frankly, the grieving process took a surprisingly long time to start. Although I was heartbroken and sad, I had no idea how much I had lost until many months after his death. Once I finally arrived at that part of the process, I was too confused to realize what was happening. All I knew, for certain, was that I had no control over me at all. I found no joy in the things I used to do, for me. I had a difficult time finding joy in my family. Kleenex commercials would render me useless for days.

I think it was October when I finally succumbed to Maureen's prodding to sign up for some boxing training. I know she was reaching deep to find something to inspire me, something to draw out that person who was so on fire at the beginning of the year. I enjoyed it, but it has only been in the last month that I have started feeling a little bit of that fire in my belly.

Hitting a punching bag has been tremendous therapy. As I started finding my way back, I also had to work my way through several exercise-induced weeping sessions. Coach Dom, at ROC Boxing has convinced me that kettlebell training is very much suited to my personality (He says I am a Spartan!) and I have embraced that as well. It's taken me several months, but I have finally found my way back to that competitive minded, exercise & fitness freak that I was before the trauma.

In 2 days, on Sunday January 2nd, I start training wtih the Competitive Kettlebell Group at ROC. Did you know that they have kettlebell competitions at the Arnold? Sure do. With my knee issues, running races are really not a great fit. Living in Upstate NY, bike races are few and far between. Finding something that I can train for, compete in and actually have a chance of excelling at seemed a distant dream. Kettlebell fulfills that ... and I am really enjoying the challenge. The fact that it is a seriously intense cardio/interval/weight training workout only ups the ante.

So, I bid adieu to 2010. I will look back on it with sadness for taking my Daddy from me. I am excited to start fresh tomorrow morning, a brand new 2011, filled with good and wonderful things. Blessings to you all, and an absolutely fantastic New Year.

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” ~Carl Bard~